Last night while watching television, I ran across this movie called the "diary of a tired black man". The movie depicts black women as angry, loud mouth and overly aggressive. There were a few commentaries from black men and women alike, who agreed that a majority of black women are angry.
Further, it depicts that black women have a tendency to run off good men and are only interested in brothers who are ballers or thugs. Although, the movie had some valid points I tend to disagree that all sisters are angry. I realize even in my past relationships I was probably hurt, but never angry. So, I decided to email my comments to the film maker in defense of black women who still believe there are good brothers out there. Now, I may not be speaking for some of you. But in my experience with my friends, we are all waiting patiently for that brother who will love, cherish and respect us.
We've experience the "troubled" brother who somehow was broke in his past and never learned to love himself, and therefore have trouble loving someone else. We've encountered the lazy and shiftless brother who didn't want to work or is living at home with his mother. We know about the cheating brothers and the ones we are afraid to leave alone with our girlfriends. We've dealt with the brother who couldn't bring anything to the table but wanted to control the relationship and call himself the "man" of the house.
Is it the fault of the brothers we've put up with these situations for so long? No, I don't think so. We sisters have to search deep within ourselves to find the true purpose of our value. When I say sisters, I am not speaking just to the black woman but all women. It is a sad day however, specifically in the black community when brothers feel like nothing is ever good enough for the black woman. Have we lost so much of what our mothers and father as well as grandparents had in the past?
During the early fifties and late sixties, a movie like the diary of a tired black man, did not have a societal impact on the black community. Don't get me wrong, I think the overall content of the movie was good, but it did have a one-sided conception of the black woman. However, back in the fifties and sixties the black father was present in the home, and the black woman respected him. She understood the challenges of being a black man in a society that judge him not by the content of his character but by the color of his skin.
We understood our roles as a "gift" of God, purpose and created to be a helper to our man. We loved them and judge them not by the car they drove or the size of their wallet. We loved them as the head of our households which loved, cherished and protected us as well as our kids. We walked the walk and talked the talk, of what God established by Divine Order in the Garden of Eden.
The movie depicted black women as women who sat around and did nothing all day. The man was viewed as a man who worked hard, but could not get the respect of his wife or her friends. I'm not saying that this stuff does not happen. But, there a lot of black women who do not feel this way. I happen to be one of them.
Yes, I've experience a lot of hurt in my past. In fact, I have a third degree burn on my upper right arm to prove it. In the beginning I was angry at this man. I believe he did me wrong, when all I wanted to do was love him. Never once, did I realize he was not ready for the type of love I wanted to give him. Now, I understand that the love within in me is not deserving of every man I meet. Because he may have not experienced it in his past, so he don't know how to handle it in his future.
So for a while, I placed the blame on the brother, believing he had done me some unforgivable wrong. But, it had nothing to do with the brother. It had everything to do with me. You see, I learn a long time ago that nothing happens to you, but what you allow. If you allow a man to mistreat you, don't be surprised when he does. Another thing, stop trying to make every man the man for you. Because, he's not! We waste too much time trying to groom a pit bull into a sherman shepard. When we know full well the personalities of these animals are not the same. Yes, the old adage states: "if it looks like a dog and act like a dog it probably is a dog." But dogs are not culturally the same, and neither are men.
One more thing, we women are rarely blind to what's going on around us. Generally, we are the first one to realize when we are dealing with a "troubled" man. We know when he's lying and cheating. Nobody has to tell us. Now, what we tend to overlook is not his problem but ours. Does it "hurt" yes, but should we be angry? No!
It's high time, we women begin to observe ourselves from within. We must look at ourselves as a gift to man. Women who were created with special favor in mind. Alluring, beautiful, unique, special and extraordinary individuals who are full of the grace and love of our Creator. We need stop the stereotype of being "angry" black women who place the blame of their past on a black man.
We must begin to take full responsibility of our past. Don't get me wrong, it's not right for anybody to mistreat someone, even if the other person allows it. Everybody has an accountability for their actions. But, we must look inside of ourselves and shift the blame where it needs to be. No one can hurt you, unless you allow yourself to be hurt. No one can make you angry unless you choose to be angry.
How do we do this? We need to find the Love of God within and look deeply into what He says about us. Only then, can we learn to love ourselves. When you have the Love of God bubbling inside of you, you learn you are a jewel. You begin to understand you were created for a Divine purpose. You learn you were created to be love, protected and cherish and you are to give the same love in return. Then, the peace of God and his tranquility flows through your heart and mind and you refuse to be love according to man's standard but by the standards of God.
We must begin to seek out men, who understand our purpose and settle for nothing less than the best of him. Then, will be able to take on our rightful position as the virtious woman God created. A woman committed to God and her family. If we are blind about who we are, how can we share with a man our hopes, dreams and desires.
So if they are angry women out there, it's time to stop being angry. Let's begin to look within ourselves and treasure who we are. It is only until we begin to treasure ourselves, can we be treasured.
If you are interested in finding more about this movie, check out the brother's website on www.tiredblackman.com.
A "maybe hurt black woman, but never angry".
No comments:
Post a Comment