A woman had been married for over twenty years to her high school sweetheart (for the purposes of this post, I'm going to call him Rex), Rex. The first ten years of her marriage described as a beautiful one:
"When Rex and I first met in high school, it was love at first sight. We both knew immediately that we were going to spend our lives together. Plus, Rex knew all the right things to say to make feel loved and wanted by him.
For the first ten years, we were extremely happy. Our marriage was healthy and vibrant, our kids were doing great and our finances were sound. So, we ate at the fancy places and brought the fancy clothes, we were doing well. Then one day, Rex lost his job and what I thought was love began to turn to hate. At every opportunity he'd insult me in the front of the kids, and then the insults turned into slaps.
Before I knew it, I was in and out of the hospital with lacerations, bruises and broken bones. If this wasn't enough, one day while at work and Rex was at home(doing nothing, of course), he decided to withdraw all the funds out of our bank account. Rex took over 25,000.00 and blew it all on an all-expense trip with four of his friends to Vegas.
When I asked Rex, how could he spend all of the family's hard-earned savings. He stated: "What's the matter with you? Hell, it was my money, too" he yelled. Tears welled up in my eyes, I couldn't believe he felt nothing for me and the kids by spending all that money.
Finally, I got tired of the Rex and I left him. That was nine years ago, and today I still have a hard time dating and trusting men. Everybody says I need to make peace with Rex and move on. But, how do I make peace with a man, who I despise and because of him, I believe all men are the same. In fact, I haven't met a brother yet whose proven me wrong.
Maybe some of you ladies out there, have been in my situation. Tell me what did you do to move past your situation and find love, again. I'd surely like to know?
Dear writer, I learned very early that no one will think more of you than you think of yourself. The first thing you and any of us must do is learn to love ourselves. I believe we can only do that when we truly know who we are. I am 62 years old and I am just finding out who I am. I now understand why God required the Israelites to remain among their own people. When we choose a mate, that person should be "bone of our bone" and "flesh of our flesh" I believe this means (bone) having the same structural makeup and (flesh) having the same beliefs and passions. Until we absolutely know what our structure is and what our beliefs and passions are, how can we choose a mate?
ReplyDeleteKNOW YOURSELF first. Then you will be able to recognize yourself in others. TRUST YOURSELF then you will be able to trust the one that you recognize as yourself. In the FLESH opposites attract to our destruction. In the SPIRIT, we are bone of bone and flesh of flesh. The flesh draws us to opposition but the spirit calls us to ONE. These are my beliefs, Errin Trafton