One day my heart was extremely heavy and I bowed before the Lord. Last year and part of this year have been trying times for me. My stepfather, who'd raised me since I was two, had been diagnosed with methastatic cancer of which he kept from the family.
I watched my stepfather suffer in tremendous pain and agony. Being, I'm the only daughter of four siblings, my family looked to me for support and encouragement. After his death I went into isolation as well as depression. I didn't want to be bother with anyone. Besides other things in my life appeared not to be going well, either.
So, I went before the Lord with a heavy burden. I prayed and prayed and asked God: "What have I been doing wrong? Why are my burdens so heavy? Why does it seems as if You don't hear my prayers? While, praying the Holy Spirit spoke to me and began ministering to me about "grace". Now grace is underserved, unearned and unmerited favor from God, given too us in the personage of Jesus Christ.
For we know that "God so loved the world, that He gave his only begotten Son to die for the sins of this world. Blotting out the handwriting and ordinances that stood against us, by nailing it to the cross. Knowing that anything we ask in Jesus name, if we believe, God hears us and answer our prayers" (my paraphrase versions).
As much as I believed this, why did it seemed my prayers were not being answered. Well, after praying on this particular day, the Holy Spirit led me to a book I purchased a couple of years ago, named: "Destined to Reign" by Joseph Prince. Obviously I had read the book before, because there were some sections of the book already highlighted. I didn't quite remember reading it and if I had, it was clear I didn't retain what I'd read.
Being that I'm a follower of God's word, I'm disciplined enough to know that I should study the word for myself. So, I sat down with my bible and opened the book. As I began reading the book I ran across a paragraph that has changed my life forever. It reads:
"What believers do is that they take the system of the world and apply it to their Christian life. Instead of depending on God's grace for His favor and blessings to flow, they depend on their self-efforts to try to deserve God's favor and blessings.
Yet God's way is not for us to be blessed by our own efforts. You cannot earn God's blessing by your performance. God's blessing are based enitrely on His grace. His blessings over our life have to be underserved, unearned and unmerited. In other words, there is nothing that you can do to deserve His blessings, for they are based entirely on receiving Jesus, and through his finished work, the abundance of grace and the gift of righteousness".
Wow! These two paragraphs hit me like a big gust of wind. As I began to read further comparing the author's word to scripture. I realized, why I had difficulty getting my prayers answered. It was because I was coming before the Lord with guilt and commendation. I was still holding on to my past sins and believed he would not bless me because of them.
Every time I prayed I would send Jesus back to the cross all over again. I would often repeat how I was sinner and dwelled on the things of my past. Every time I prayed, I would repeat and ask forgiveness for something that I already asked forgiveness for.
I kept trying to fulfill the Law (Ten Commandents) in order to have a right relationship with God. But what I didn't realize was, Jesus had already fulfilled the Law and disarmed Satan of all his power:
Colossians 2:14-15, 14"having wiped out the handwriting of requirements that was against us, which was contrary to us. And he has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross. 15Having disarmed principalities and powers, He made a public spectacle of the, triumphing over them in it.
Praise God! This scripture made me realize I was trying to earn my own righteouness and I couldn't because, Jesus has already made me righteous at the cross. So no longer am I bound by my past, present or future. I know I am the righteousness of God, not because of who I am, but because of who He is and what He did.
When Satan attempts to remind me of past, with lies and deceit. I can truly say "there is no condemnation in those who believe in Christ Jesus." I can go boldly before the throne of grace with my petitions, assured that my Father hears and will answer them.
Are you living under underserved, unearned and unmerited favor or are you still being condemned?
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